Hell 2 Da Naw Naw Award: Jesus Nikes And Melz New Shoes

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I'll be the first to admit that I'm completely ignorant of the "sneaker" game but I do acknowledge that its big business in America. While I do own a few pairs of Jordans, my wallet and my stomach can't take paying the price some folks are willing to shell out for footwear.

Which brings us to this week's award winner, the folks behind the "Jesus Shoes". According to CBS News, the shoes were designed by Brooklyn-based creative arts company MSCHF. They bought a normal pair of Nike Air Max 97 sneakers at market value ($160) and they completely revamped the shoe and added a golden Jesus on a crucifix as a shoelace charm.

They then claim to have sourced water from the River Jordan, had it blessed by a Brooklyn priest and added the water to the soles of each sneaker. This where things get wild:

The new "Jesus Shoes" went on sale for $1,425 Tuesday and sold for that price within a minute... The buyer has now listed the sneaker on the resale website StockX for $4,000. - via CBS News

So they took a pair of $100 sneakers, added water and a Jesus piece and NOW they're selling for $4,000! I'm in the WRONG line of work!

That got me thinking, since yall "sneaker heads" are quick to depart with your money so fast for what you "think" are exclusive shoes, I'm coming out with my own pair: The Melz Lake Belton 1's.

The shoes are made of real leather coming from cows raised on farms here in Bell County. The bottom of the shoes are white but they have traces of REAL MUD from the shores of Temple Lake Park so you KNOW its real. And of course I wear each and every pair of these exclusives so you too can say "I wear the shoes MELZ actually wears when he's on the radio."

You can get your hands on these EXCLUSIVES for the low price of $5,000 a pair! What a great deal sneaker heads! Please feel free to cash app your payment for send it through Western Union.

Seriously, I could never tell someone what to do with their disposable income and if rocking some 5-figure sneaks makes you feel good, then so be it. But just like cars, your sneaks lose VALUE the minute you stick your feet in them so hopefully your "investment" brings back a great return for you, until then, I offer up blessings from MY BISHOP: