White Supremacists Claim New Star Wars Film Promotes White Extinction

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, the evil Galactic Empire hatched a devious plot to destroy the white race...by recruiting a black storm trooper. 

Yes, it seems white supremacists have seen right through Lucasfilm's flashy lightsabers and adorable droids and are warning of the film's true agenda - the promotion of race mixing with the ultimate intent of white extinction! The hashtag #BoycottStarWarsVII is part of their noble social media quest to expose this dastardly plot like so many brave Bothans.

Because in a movie franchise featuring a giant gangster slug who commands a vast criminal empire, a bipedal dog with a laser crossbow and a pilot's license, and...whatever the hell Jar Jar was supposed to be, there's just no room for something so far-fetched and bizarre as a black male lead, especially when the female lead is white and there's a possibility of romance.

This is why we can't have nice things, folks.

But the good news is that it seems the hashtag started as a joke poking fun at white supremacists, and the majority of people retweeting it are doing so sarcastically to demonstrate how dumb it is. And that, my friends, is what makes the internet so awesome. (That and this list of far more pressing grievances.)

But let's forget about the paranoid conspiracy theorists and watch the trailer again! Every time it gets a view, a skinhead's swastika underwear rides up.