5 Movies to Skip from 2014
2014 saw the release of some really wonderful movies, a lot of mediocre movies, and a handful of true stinkers. These are five movies from that last group. I'm not going to say that they're the worst movies of the year, just that you time would be much, much better spent elsewhere.
Like, on any other movie in our Year 2014 in Movies.
Hey, if Michael Bay's your cinematic bae, then who am I to tell you otherwise? For the rest of us, Transformers: Age of Extinction was a bloated-to-bursting, uncomfortably chaotic, creepily misogynistic frag-fest that has well and truly wasted whatever shreds of goodwill we had left towards the Transformers franchise.
I haven't seen the original Sin City since it premiered, which is perhaps a good thing. I have a funny feeling that the years haven't been kind to what, at the time, felt already a little dated, but at least aesthetically fresh. The sequel, though? It wasn't even bad, per se (though parts of it certainly were)—it was just boring. There are few worst sins than that in a blockbuster movie.
Generally speaking, I'm a fan of Seth McFarlane's, but if you want to count up his most significant contributions to 2014, this movie isn't on the list. (Really, his most significant contribution to 2014 is his instrumental support of this year's Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey.) Despite its stellar cast, it's a plodding, unfunny slog. A million ways to beat a dead horse, more like. See? 'Cause it's a Western, and horses, and... never mind.
I'm not someone who over-mythologizes the quality of the original TMNT films, but even so: this movie was freaking terrible. Maybe if you're ten years old (in body or mind), you'll like the inelegant character designs, awful action choreography, and laughable script. Maybe all you wanted from this movie was to hear Michelangelo say 'Cowabunga' in high definition. He does. Lucky you.
Transcendence was transcendently bad. It might even be transcendentally bad. The movie's morals are muddled beyond recognition, and despite its posturing as some great sci-fi thinker, the whole of it just comes off as trite. The special effects, like the settings, while occasionally pretty, never make that much of an impact. Nobody even turns in a good performance. I honestly can't think of a single reason why you'd want to watch this movie.