President Obama has designs on continuing to call 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue his home for the next four years, no matter what Mitt Romney throws at him. And while it may be easy to discuss what Obama needs to do in order to be re-elected, there are several things he should not do.

So, if the president wants to retain his title as leader of the free world, he needs to make sure he avoids the following:

1. Oversleep on debate day.

2. Mistake Obamacare for Obamascare.

3. Get a ringing endorsement from the union that represented the NFL's replacement officials.

4. Insist the economy has never been better.

5. Lie by telling us he can fix the global bacon shortage that's coming.

6. Make fart noises in to the debate's microphone every time Romney speaks.

7. Promise he can fix the Boston Red Sox.

8. Tell America it's no big deal the McRib won't be returning until December.

9. Find his real birth certificate that shows he was actually born in space.

10. Say he doesn't like 'Gangnam Style.'